hello, sorry about the (sometimes unattended) mess

Stopped by Best Buy over the weekend--and I, sadly, cannot remember what I bought. Anyway, just before reaching the cashier, there was a 2006 The DUH! Awards boxed calendar. My problem with it was the price. It was still marked as 11.99--which I thought was a bit excessive since we're two months into 2006. Not that I'm unhappy with my 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said one, I just liked the DUH! series.

Haggling just didn't suit my mood either, so I will just go without until next year. Well that is, of course, if there is one released next year.

It is a difficult life, I know.

At least my calendar entertains me.

Smart Thoughts about Stupidity

All the world's a stage, and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

Self-Inflicted Stupidity

What does a parent with a big ego do when his kid's shelf piles up with soccer trophies, Little League trophies, and swim trophies? According to a woman who runs a California trophy-making business, the proud dad (proud of himself anyway) orders her to make up some old-looking trophies with his name on them so he can regain household bragging rights.

Because no one's requested it, I'm just posting one and not even trying to catch up on the other ones.


At a dry cleaners in Rome: LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Today's entry


A frustrated writer came up with novel scheme to test the intelligence of book publishers. He retyped into manuscript form The Painted Bird, Jerzy Kosinski's award-winning novel, and submitted it, under his own name, to a dozen big publishers. They all rejected the manuscript as not being worthy of publication, including the house that had actually published Kosinski's book.

From Tuesday


Why do the idiots always rise to the top?

They're handpicked by the top brass, who don't want someone smart coming in and making them look bad by comparison.

From Monday


The world's first parking tickets were given out in Nineveh (now Iraq) over 2,000 years ago to people who parked their chariots on the king's road. The fine? Death by impalement.

From Sunday


Not all presidents need scientific advisers. Ronald Reagan, for example, found it more efficient to invent his own science. Here's Reagan on the campaign trail dismissing the dangers of atomic energy: "All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk." That would have been one amazing desk, big enough to cover up the 25 tons of nuclear wasted produced each year by an atomic power plant.

From Saturday


Lady Lewson, a wealthy eighteenth-century English woman, refused to bathe, ever, thinking immersion led to illness. Instead, to preserve herself she coated her body daily with hog's lard. She lived ninety years that way.

Actress Tallulah Bankhead didn't think much of the movie based on Tennessee Williams's play Orpheus Descending. "Tenny, darling," she told him, "how awful for you. They've absolutely ruined your perfectly dreadful play."

"(The automobile) will never, of course, come into as common use as the bicycle."

In the late 1800s when proper English women went for a dip in the ocean, they first climbed into elaborate bathing chambers, where they could change their clothes in seclusion. The chambers were then rolled across the sand and into the water. The women descended a ramp into the ocean, still encased in the chamber. Women attendants, called "dippers," were hired to shoo off any men who tried to peek.

The Hyperbole Award goes to TV star Loni Anderson who wrote in her autobiography, My Life in High Heels, that having sex was like "experiencing a nuclear explosion in a very small space."

On a fireplace log: "Caution, risk of fire."